Leah Claire

yayponies:

yranadult:

by Josh Heller

When I was a kid, my mom would always shop at Trader Joe’s. I hated it. You couldn’t get Reese’s Pieces Puffs, you had to settle for Puffins. As I got older and my tastes refined Trader Joe’s provided my two favorite things (health food & booze) at affordable prices.

Around the time I was old enough to buy alcohol, I’d already been consuming lots of it. I realized that at Trader Joe’s I could buy 3 bottles of wine for the same price as 12 cans of Natural Light. We were college seniors ,you know? With cultivated palettes! We wanted to impress girls with our knowledge of every Charles Shaw varietal! Cabernet Sauvignon? Syrah? Chardonnay? Merlot? Yeah, I’d tasted every one of ‘em. And I knew which were the easiest to chug!  

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alternately, you can pick an obscure $3.99 bottle from the other shelves at Trader Joe’s. just not the Chuck. look for the little hand-written tags to see which employee has drunk them and will tell you how they taste!

Yeah, because a $3.99 bottle of anything at Trader Joe’s is still going to be a lot more drinkable than a $3.75 bottle from a regular grocery store, in my experience. To get anything decent at, say Albersons, you’ve got to go to the $10+ range.